


Castle of Glass

by Denstort



Category: Muse (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-07-28 10:19:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7636375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denstort/pseuds/Denstort
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castles made of glass are beautiful to look at...but are oh so fragile.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part 5 of the ' I Belong To You' series.

“We love you!” 

Dom grinned as he watched Matt take another bow; it was good to see him back in his element.

He’d hoped that being on tour would make Andrew a dim and distant memory, and it had, to an extent. He just wished it extended to outside of touring. Sometimes Matt would wake in the middle of the night, haunted by some twisted nightmare about Andrew. Usually he would hold him until he fell back into sleep, but now they were on tour, he couldn’t, as they had to have separate rooms...and they hated it.

Yes, they got an occasional chance, when they had to use a tour bus or they had a break of more than a few days and could go home. But when they were doing multiple nights and festivals, it was hotels and separation. Oh how he wished he could go back in time and tell himself that getting a PA was a bad idea.

“That was bloody brilliant!” Matt was saying, and virtually bouncing off the walls.

“Hey, easy there,” Dom said.

“Yeah, yeah,” Matt replied, before running off and the shouts of excited fans could be heard.

Dom sighed, he wished Matt would slow down, because he knew he would eventually crash. They were one festival away from the end of the tour....then again, adding Krakow had been a surprise. He hoped they were going to get a break, because despite how hyper Matt was at the moment, those closest to him knew he was exhausted; a combination of the stress of touring, the nightmares and the headaches that still plagued him.

“Better get out there,” Chris said.

An hour later at the after party, Matt did indeed crash.

“Come on sleepy head, time to get you back to the hotel.”

“Hmm...hotel?”

“You know, place with lots of beds, you sleep in them.”

“We finished the gig then?”

Dom chuckled to himself, a sleepy confused Matt was way too adorable.

“Yeah, we’ve finished. Glen, can you get the car round?”

Chris and Tom joined them and Matt was a little more awake after the cold air had hit him.

“Uh-oh, pap alert,” Tom said as the car pulled up to the hotel.

The flashes of the cameras were annoying, but they were used to them, and the security guys did a good job of keeping them at a distance. Dom was just glad there were no journalists to ask the inevitable question about Andrew. There were a few fans hanging around, so they stopped for them but eventually they got to their respective rooms.

.***********************

 

Matt hated being separated from Dom, but he didn’t want their relationship to splashed across every tabloid and TMZ with the no doubt salacious and gutter hugging headlines. Coming out and letting the world know that you were also in a relationship with you drummer and best friend for twenty years, was something they wanted to do on their on time and terms, not something to be sensationalised. But he missed Dom’s presence as he slipped into bed, but no matter how much he wanted to go to Dom’s room, he couldn’t, not now the paparazzi knew they were staying here.

He’d just settled when his phone buzzed. He smiled when he read the text.

_Miss you baby, the bed is cold without you._

He texted back.

_I’ll buy you a hot water bottle for Christmas._

_Ho, ho, ho...go to sleep_ ,came the reply

 _Yes mum_ , he texted back, before shutting off his phone.

He drifted off to sleep, the last thought being ‘did they even do leopard print hot water bottles?’ The next thing he knew his alarm was going off...wow, he’d actually had an uninterrupted sleep. He showered and dressed, then opened the door to his room. He noticed an envelope on the floor, on one of the hotel trays. He picked it up and it literally just said ‘Matthew’ on the front.

He smiled, it must be from Dom, the sappy idiot. But when he opened it, there was no card, only what looked like a dried forget-me-not. He shrugged, sometimes the fans were weird. He put the envelope in his jacket pocket and thought no more of it.

He entered the lift and the door was about to close when Dom squeezed through it, and as soon as the door was shut, he pushed him against the side of the lift, hands either side of his shoulders.

“Now you are a sight for this drummer’s sore eyes.”

Matt felt his breath hitch and his pulse quicken when Dom kissed him, and he willingly allowed him entrance to his mouth when it was asked for. The lift halting and the door pinging made them pull apart, just seconds before other guests entered, but the heated glances Dom gave him, told him that this was far from over...no kidding. God, he missed being close to Dom, and it was killing him....they were so close, yet the gap seemed huge. The occasional intimate moment on a tour bus or if they were really lucky, a room back stage only made the torture worse.

Oh yes, Dominic Howard, it was definitely not over.

**************************

Dom could kiss Glen, it was an inspired move. They had spent the day touring round Krakow and then Glen had arranged a barbecue at Zalew Sakrzowek, a disused quarry that had been turned into a lake.

Matt and himself had wandered away from the main party, and were now sitting on the grass watching the sun go down. Dom finally had Matt to himself, he held Matt tight, as Matt was sitting in front of him, his back resting against his chest. He nuzzled the spot behind Matt’s ear and smiled when he felt Matt shiver. He loved how Matt was a perfect fit, here in his arms as they stared out at the lake.

“Only a few more days, baby and we’ll have all the privacy we want.”

“Yeah,” Matt said, then sighed. “We’ll have to get back, getting too dark now.”

Dom held him tighter, “If we must.”

“We have a gig tomorrow and those interviews. I just wish we could have at least one night together.”

“I know, but like I said, soon.”

 

********************

 

The interviews were torture, well for Dom, since Matt seemed to have woken up in a very mischievous mood. His under-handed flirting, which would send the Belldom shippers into a frenzy, was turning his insides molten and certain parts of his anatomy into rebellion.

“You are so going to pay for that,” he whispered in Matt's ear later, just before they went on stage. Of course Matt’s response was to become even more flirtatious, disguised as his stage antics...oh, the nearest room with a lock..........

He went looking for Matt after the gig, since he’d disappeared as soon as they had finished. When he couldn’t find him, he started asking the crew, but no-one had seen him. He was about to phone him, when his foot kicked something. He looked down, it was Matt’s phone; the idiot must have dropped it and not realised. He picked it up and noticed it was unlocked; he must have been looking at something, probably Twitter.

He swiped the screen, and a news article came up. He almost dropped it when he saw the headline...no, no....oh fuck no.


	2. Chapter 2

Matt grinned as Dom whispered in his ear that he was going to pay for his under-handed flirting, during those interviews. He’d woken in a good but mischievous mood; the memory of that short but heated kiss, still very much to the fore of his mind. He continued the flirting on stage, disguised as stage moves, and he came off stage buzzed and anticipating being dragged to either his or Dom’s dressing room. He slowed down, waiting for Dom to catch up, when his phone beeped.

He frowned, who would be sending a text? He opened the phone and he froze; it was one of his nightmares becoming reality. Thoughts of heated sex with Dom vaporised as he read the headlines.

“ _Andrew Simmons petitions the court for the right to appeal his sentence. Muse frontman Matt Bellamy may be forced to testify again’_

He couldn’t read anymore, the phone clattering to the floor.

*********************

“He has to be somewhere, security said he hasn’t tried to leave the site,” Chris said.

“Can’t believe that bastard even thought of appealing, let alone actually thinking he might get the chance,” Dom said, trying to keep the panic out of his voice.

“Matt!” he called again as they moved through the near empty festival site.

They decided to split up and he was now searching the warren of equipment crates. He stopped when he thought he heard movement.

“Matt?” he said, he’d definitely heard noise. He turned left and there he was, sitting between two crates, only his feet visible.

“Baby?” he said softly.

Matt’s feet shifted…. too late, Dom had seen him. He moved again and stopped by the crates and crouched down. “Matt, you can’t hide.”

Matt had his head in his hands and his knees drawn up.

Dom moved closer and took hold of Matt’s hands, managing to pull them away from his face, which was tear-streaked.

“Love, we’ll get through this.”

Matt looked at him and he could see the fear on his face.

“I can’t face him again.”

“Let those high-priced lawyer we pay deal with it. We are going to go home, and whatever happens, all of us will deal with it, okay?” he said, drawing Matt into his arms.

Matt’s small nod was enough for him.

“C’mon, let’s find the others, before they bust a gut trying to find you.”

*************************

Chris narrowed his eyes as he left customs. “I spy press,” he said.

“Didn’t expect anything less,” Tom answered.

“Can’t we skirt around them?”

“Fraid’ not, we’ll have to do the old block and bugger off routine, “Tom said. “Heads up, here come Matt and Dom.”

One of their security team went in front with Chris, with Matt and Dom in the middle, and Tom and another security man running a rear defence. Of course the press went straight for Matt, firing questions and trying to get a picture.

“Matt, how do you feel about Andrew Simmons trying to get and appeal!?”

“Will you testify in person!?”

“Has Andrew Simmons attack and attempted rape affected you mentally!?”

“Hey, enough questions!” Chris said, pushing one photographer aside.

They were thankful for the sanctuary of the car, but the barrage of questions had done their damaged, and Matt looked unhappy.

***********************

Matt breathed a sigh of relief after he closed the door to his house, and he let out another when a pair of arms were wrapped around his waist.

“You oaky?” Dom asked.

“My leg aches and my head is starting. I just want a bath, my pills and to forget what’s happened, just for tonight.”

“Then go run a bath, I’ll make some tea.”

Matt smiled and turned in Dom’s arms. “How very British, tea, the answer to all the problems,” he said and kissed Dom.

“Ah-ah, bath, then tea and pills, then bed.”

He pouted but Dom ignored it.

“Go on,” he said, swatting his rear as he walked away.

He sank into the bath and closed his eyes, hoping that it would shut out everything.

“ _You will always be mine_ ,” a voice said and he felt a breath against his cheek.

“ _We will be together_ ,” the voice said again…his voice.

He could feel his heart start to race and his breath start to shorten; he was having a panic attack and he couldn’t stop it. It intensified when he felt hands on him. He tried to fight them off, but no matter how he struggled, the hands wouldn’t let go. Then the voice came again, but it didn’t sound like him; this voice was soft and calm.

“Breathe love…come on…breathe…yeah, that’s it,” the voice was saying, and he found himself listening to it.

“Open your eyes and look at me, baby.”

He did and it was Dom’s gray eyes, full of concern that he looked into.

“Dom?”

“Hello…keep those deep breathes going, that’s it.”

He took another deep breath and felt his heart slowing and breathing getting easier. “Dom?” he said again.

Dom placed a hand on his cheek, “I’m here, let’s get you out of the bath.”

One pot of tea and Dom holding him close, and his pills finally banished the echoes of his voice.

“Dom?”

“Enough, stop fighting the pills, sleep.”

“Kay’,” he said and let the pills drag him into sleep.

*******************

Dom kept his tight hold until Matt finally succumbed to the tablets. He was relieved that Matt hadn’t been privy to the phone conversation he’d had with their barrister.

“I’m sorry. Mister Howard, but the law allows someone to appeal against their sentence.”

“But Andrew is insane.”

“Not according to the psychiatrist for his defence.”

“Then he has no excuse for what he did. He’s still guilty.”

“Mister Howard, you don’t understand. Andrew Simmons was convicted and sentenced in accordance with someone who was mentally unstable. If the appeal panel agrees with his defence, this will go to a re-trial, and as such Andrew Simmons will be a free man for the duration of said re-trial.”


	3. Chapter 3

“We have to tell him.”

“No.”

“Dom, he’s going to find out.”  
“Not if we keep him away from the TV and stuff.”

“Dom, Matt’s not daft, he’ll cotton on that something’s up.”

“I’ll cotton onto what?” Matt said as he walked into the living room.

“That Dom’s been substituting your coca-puffs for a supermarket brand again,” Chris said.

“Ha, ha, very funny. Don’t think he really wants to explain to Anna why there a trail of chocolate rice pops from the kitchen and as far around the house I can get before the box runs out. Anyway, my barrister called, he wants to go over my statement, so I’ll be out this afternoon, oaky?”

“Yeah, sure,” Dom answered.

“Good,” Matt said and walked out again.

“Something’s off,” Chris said.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s taking it way too well.”

“As opposed to what, him sitting in a corner, too scared to go out.”

Chris glared at him, “No, I mean he’s not reacting at all. He’s not angry, worried, nervous…nothing, or haven’t you noticed.”

Dom gave him a matching glare,” Of course I’ve noticed. But I’m frightened that if I say anything…he’s like a castle made of glass, even the smallest crack and he could shatter. I couldn’t bear it if he breaks down. I’m having my own meeting with the barrister, I want to know how likely it is that he could win the right to a re-trial…them I’ll talk to Matt.”

Chris let out a huff of air, “I hope he tells you, because sooner than later, someone will either get to Matt, or he’ll read it somewhere.”

********************

Matt wasn’t stupid, he knew they weren’t talking about cereals. Did they think he went around with blinkers and ear plugs? He knew that Andrew could win the right to a re-trial and yes, he knew that he would have to face Andrew in court again, but he wasn’t sure if he could do that, and it ramped his worry levels up further.

It might have been easier if what had occurred at the waterfall hadn’t happened, but it had and he had to cope with that on his own, and he was. The one thing he wasn’t going to do, was show the others, especially Dom, how worried he was. He hid behind a mask of insouciance, not wanting to worry Dom or any of the others; because he wasn’t worth the worry, as it would add to the worries he had already caused.

That’s why he hadn’t told Dom about hearing Andrew’s voice, when he’d had those panic attacks. That’s why he never told Dom that he was terrified that Andrew would haunt him for the rest of his days. He didn’t want to add to it, because Dom worried enough about the nightmares he suffered.

The sound of the gate buzzer startled him from his thoughts.

“Yes?” he said.

“Inter-flora, I have a delivery for Mister Bellamy.”

“Oh, okay,” he said, a little bemused that someone was sending him flowers, since it wasn’t his birthday and it wasn’t his and Dom’s anniversary…oh well, probably some well- meaning fans.

There was a card with the flowers and the message said ‘Your heart shall be mine forever.’

For some reason he shivered, then chided himself, he was always getting gifts with odd messages. Still, the flowers were pretty, so he went into the kitchen in search of something to put them in. He entered the kitchen where Anna was busy.

She turned as he came in.

“Matthew…oh, what lovely flowers. Someone seems to like you.”

“Oh, how do you know that?”

“The flowers, Forget-me-nots and Arbustus. The forget-me-not are well, don’t forget me and the Arbustus mean thee only do I love. The things some of your fans send you, still, they are lovely. I’ll find a vase to put them in.”

“Maybe I should tell Dom they’re from a secret admirer, make him jealous.”

“Matthew,” Anna said and shook her head.

He smiled back, “Not even a little bit.”

“Matthew.”

He shook his head and took the vase from her and placed them on the table.

“There, they look good there.”

Anna nodded, then said, “Will you and Dominic and Chris be here for dinner?”

“I have to go out this afternoon, but we’re free after that…so yes.”

“Good, it’s about time you actually sat down and did nothing.”

“Yes mum,” he said before retreating.

He spent the next couple of hours in the music room, knowing that no-one would interrupt him. He really didn’t do much, just tinkered with a riff that had been swimming around his head for a few weeks, one that might go on the next album or just be one that they played as an outro.

He looked at the clock and sighed, it was that time and he called out his goodbye to anyone that heard before heading out and waiting for the cab to take him into the city. He really didn’t want to relive what had happened in that cellar, but if was going to keep Andrew where he belonged, then he would.

“Matthew,” his barrister said as he entered her office. “I know this is not the most pleasant of things to do, but we just need to go through your statement so we can be prepared for his re-trial.” 

Matt blinked, “Excuse me, re-trial?”

The barrister looked at him. “I’m sorry, we were only informed ten minutes ago. Andrew Simmons won his case. His previous conviction of kidnapping and false imprisonment due to diminished responsibility had been over-turned. Andrew is now pleading not guilty and unfortunately, as an innocent man, he is being released with no bail or conditions.”

Matt felt his chest tighten…he couldn’t breathe.

“Matthew, are you okay?”

The barrister’s voice was distant and muffled. He stood, but his legs felt shaky….no…no. He had to get out, get away. He paid no heed to the barrister and found himself on the street. He never heard someone calling after him…he just ran.


End file.
